Love is a relative term. It is uniquely defined by every individual across the planet.
It is this fact alone that makes it so bloody difficult to find someone you can actually fall in love with.
Your ideals and beliefs and happinesses are so individual within themselves that finding someone else with core ideals so closely related to your own could be considered an impossible task. There are so many options out there that even finding someone single and / or willing to settle down is just as difficult.
So when you do finally find someone that holds the same definition of love, it is perfectly okay to dedicate your life to them and bail on your friends. Some might think it a cardinal sin but contrary to popular belief ditching your friends for your significant other is essential for the future prosperity of your life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should bail on your besties forever. Girlie drinks, shopping trips, gossiping, and going for cocktails, these are things that one can only truly enjoy with your BFFLs. Who else are you going to bitch about your significant other with?
However, us Lovers will not be victimised for not going out drinking and clubbing every weekend. Don’t you dare insult us for preferring long walks on the beach to spending hundreds of pounds on clothes and shoes and shots we don’t need.
No, we cannot answer every phone call because some bloke isn’t calling you back. Maybe if you hadn’t shagged him after twenty minutes he might respect you more and see you as someone to have a relationship with? Honesty within dating is whole other issue! Yes, we are having a date night tonight. Wanna know why?
Because the person we are now spending so much of my time with is our partner. They hold our hand when we cry during Age Concern adverts. They know exactly how we take our coffee in the morning. They love us even when we’re being difficult for no reason. They don’t call us a bitch when we argue because we’ve figured out HOW to argue with each other and listen to each other’s points of view.
The fact is that even in your early twenties you might be spending all of your time with the person who will co-parent your children. They will be the other name on the mortgage. Their careers and happiness will directly relate to the future of your entire life. Every decision you ever make could be made with this person.
We’re not called ‘partners’ for no reason, you know?
Friends who claim to have been dumped for the new boyfriend / girlfriend clearly don’t know their own version of love. They are probably wrapped up in the Tinder world of dating where admitting one’s feelings is seen as an embarrassing task that might result in a decrease of your cool reputation. Personally, I’d rather be loved and in love that be cool. This is the adult world, not your favourite form of pop culture. You’re not Ryan and Marissa, you’re fucking adult with a duty to society.
Perhaps it is bitchy to say that your partner is more important than you friends but every great relationship I have ever witnessed has been made up of a best friend double act.
So to every friend that has been ditched for the boyfriend: perhaps you should have listened a little harder. Go and discover your own version of love and then reassess your situation because if you don’t, you won’t even be an acquaintance before too long. To the ditcher: well done on finding love. Keep it going! Keep evolving your communication. Find new ways to make each other happy. Do call the old pals once in a while though, yeah?
And those who never noticed a difference: fancy a pint later?