KAY SMYTHE

Writer, Researcher, Social Scientist

Chris Harrison is Leaving LA?! (Who Are Our Leaders?)

Before we really get into it, why hasn’t Joe Rogan interviewed Chris Harrison yet? Can someone at ABC let him off the leash, and allow him to have a frank conversation with a whole new demographic of viewers please? If I can be part of Bachelor Nation ‘til I die, then who knows what other future Kaitlyn Bristowe superfans might be out there? It’s honestly great marketing for the show, and you’re missing a fucking trick. 

Unfortunately, Chris Harrison leaving LA is not really what this article is about. I apologize for duping you into thinking this was a trending piece of gossip about the greatest show on television, but it’s not. It’s an angry Millennial rant about how all of the good people are leaving LA county, and I’m starting to feel very lonely. For those of you who may be new to my work, my name is Kay Smythe and I professionally complain about shit we can easily fix. However, it’s basically impossible to fix something like the hell hole that LA is becoming if all of the helpful people are fucking leaving! 

Admittedly, Chris Harrison is probably not the most aidful person in Los Angeles, but he’d have my vote should he decide to run for office. He’s clearly a stronger choice than our current leadership. In a recent BlindGossip posting, it’s pretty fucking clear that the DNC are bailing out on Greasy Gavin Newsom, so who is our new esteemed leader going to be? There is a very strong chance that California is going to swing back to the Red zone during the up-coming elections in 2022, so who do y’all think has it in them to win this very purple part of the country?

If anyone even breathes the name Eric Garcetti, get the fuck outta here. Under the guidance of that plank of soggy multi density fiberboard, LA has become the most dangerous city in the United States. When I first moved here in 2015, I could wander around Venice Beach in the middle of the night, alone, drunk, stoned, and get home safely without seeing another person. You’re not even safe inside your own home in Venice Beach anymore. Eric Garcetti would do better for himself if he joined Hollywood, because this fool is really good at acting like he can handle his only job. He’s almost as good as actors in Hollywood pretending to be human beings.

Shitting on Hollywood aside, Los Angeles is falling apart and all of the good people are leaving. I’m trying to leave too, but I’m not good. I’m just complaining while I wait for someone to say they’re running for office so I can give them my data and move on. The thing is, I don’t want to see just anyone volunteering as tribute to help fix this swamp. I want to see someone who cares about our safety as residents. I want someone who is going to clean up the homeless crisis permanently. I want someone to let us back outside and our businesses to reopen. I want someone who understands that school is more than just passing tests, and that our children need to go back as soon as possible. 

I know that COVID is a thing, and it sucks, but everything fucking sucks right now. Fixing Los Angeles shouldn’t be put on pause because the people we voted for want to take away our freedom. So, dear reader, who is the leader of tomorrow? Garcetti and Gavin are gone, right? Or are they going to wangle their way into office once again, and continue raping this city of everything it was ever worth? 

It’s up to y’all. Let’s find some people who are going to take us and this city seriously. The first place we need to start is by figuring some shit out. Therefore, I invite you all to discuss what you want fixed in the comments section. It doesn’t have to be a lot, just something that you want to change about living in Los Angeles, or anywhere in California. This state is bigger than my home country, so we might as well fix it all if we’re going to start with this one small corner.